we're blogging at a bar
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
