Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
