that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
