Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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