whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
