He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
