when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
