doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
