had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
