i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
sex in a hospital.. check
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