ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
