I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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