Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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