I'm drive I can fine osifer
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
