so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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