How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
