He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
