It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
