A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
