My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
