She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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