He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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