yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
