the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
