come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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