I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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