Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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