I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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