Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
