He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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