my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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