I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
