I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
