Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
