Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I wish I only lived at night.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Randomize
