I love black thongs
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I intend to get homeless drunk
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
