i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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