She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize