You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
