I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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