i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
