I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize