the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
