Umm I'm too high to move.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he shaved USA in his pubs
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm just crazy horny about you
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
