in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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