You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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