He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
