no, he came in my armpit
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
