At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize