just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
