i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
