38 yer olds are good kisserssss
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
