i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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