Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
