Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
