:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
