that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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